银川雅思写作之“难发现”的表达错误
来源:       2018-11-22      阅读量: 299 次

银川雅思—写作中,我们一贯的写作习惯将自己的文章拉低了很多档次,接下来看看几组比较典型的“很难被发现”的表达易犯毛病。你是否中枪了?

    

eg. 1. 可以尝试把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。


Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab.


Revision: The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)

Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语


eg. 2. 细节控:将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词


1)  Weak: The team members are good players.


Revision: The team members play well.


2)  Weak: One worker's plan is the elimination of tardiness.


Revision: One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.

改进后读起来会更舒服。


eg. 3. 在以“here”或“there”开头的句子汇总,把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。


Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.


Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.


eg. 4.可以话,尽量运用主动语态。


1)  Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.


Revision: Charity has supported the organization.


2)  Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.


Revision: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.


eg. 5. 防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。


1)  Weak: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.


Revision: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.


2)  Weak: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.


Revision: We have received your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.


eg. 6. 杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。


Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.


Revision: They will not agree to any of his proposals.



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